Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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