dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize