Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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