how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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