Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
