yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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