More tranny stories later!
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Just invented taco cereal.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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