Can i not drive my cunt home
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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