So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
