Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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