The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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