I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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