Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
