conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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