You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I just gift wrapped bread.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
