Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
