Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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