Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
