You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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