I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
