We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Randomize
