Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Bang-toberfest begins!!
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
