I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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