That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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