You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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