There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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