Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
