literally had 100 drinks last night.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
lets start a swedish sibling band together
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
