Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
