If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
