there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
