Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
