Can Purell be used as lube?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
