She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
