I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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