I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
How's work?
Spinning.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
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