Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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