We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
