Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
