i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize