so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Randomize
