That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
