Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
