all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
