Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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