I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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