Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
They have beer where we have blood.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
