First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I am mentally ready for anal.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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