What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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