We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
