don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
