we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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