please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
