Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
i now understand why vodka
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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