I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Sorry my hands just texted you
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
