yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
