420 ftw
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
