we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
